For grown-ups
Secret Girls Club Teens Online gives girls practical, strengths-based tools for friendship, big feelings, knowing their worth, taking up space, belonging and everyday pressure.
If help is needed now
If anyone may be in immediate danger, contact local emergency services now. For urgent safety, abuse, violence, self-harm, exploitation or a serious threat, stay with your teen where it is safe and use an appropriate local emergency, school or qualified support route.
Secret Girls Club Teens Online is not an emergency service, a crisis line or a 24/7 monitored space. This website cannot receive emergency messages or promise an instant reply.
For programme questions, use the parent/carer support contact provided with your enrolment. Do not use it for emergencies.
Safeguarding alerts
Reflections and practice notes stay on the learner's device for the session. They are not submitted, monitored, or shared with parents or carers through this website.
When to step in
Encourage your teen to come to you, another trusted adult, their school, or an appropriate qualified professional when something feels unsafe, too big, or hard to manage alone.
If anyone may be in immediate danger, use local emergency or crisis support rather than waiting for this website.
How we explain it to teens
“What you write here stays on your device. If something feels unsafe or too big, you deserve real-world support from a trusted adult.”
“This is not a 24/7 service—if it is urgent, tell a trusted adult or contact local emergency help now.”
What parents and carers can expect
This is a strengths-based learning space, not therapy, diagnosis, crisis care, or a substitute for your own caring conversation and support.
What stays private
Everyday learning, private check-ins and ordinary reflections are not automatically shared with parents or carers. Teens should still be encouraged to ask a trusted adult for help when something feels unsafe or too big.
Before a big response
You can be warm and still set a limit. This tiny reset helps keep an adult’s worry from taking over a teen’s moment.
Notice your body signals: tight jaw, hot face, racing thoughts or the urge to fix it fast.
Name the trigger: what part of this story is landing hard for you?
Separate their experience from your history: this is their moment, not a replay of yours.
Regulate first: breathe, take a sip of water, sit down or say you need ten minutes.
Choose one connecting question, not a cross-examination.
Then decide together: set a respectful limit, problem-solve, or seek extra help.
Topic-by-topic guidance
These are practical, non-clinical conversation starters. Use what fits, leave room for your teen’s perspective, and involve an appropriate qualified professional when concerns persist, intensify, affect daily life, or feel beyond your family’s support.
Parent guide 01
Help your teen practise that comfort, choice and a clear ‘no’ matter in friendships, dating and online spaces.
Try saying
“You do not owe anyone a yes to keep them happy. What would feel safe and clear for you?”
Try this
Ask what support would make a boundary easier to hold, then help with the practical next step.
Avoid this
Do not turn the conversation into blame, a lecture, or a demand for every detail.
Reflect: How do I respond when my teen’s boundary is different from the one I would choose?
Parent guide 02
Connection before correction helps a teen think clearly about group chats, loyalty, screenshots and who feels safe.
Try saying
“That sounds awkward. What happened, and what do you need from me right now: listening, ideas, or backup?”
Try this
Validate the sting first, then get curious about what a kinder next move could be.
Avoid this
Avoid demanding screenshots, dismissing it as drama, or making them choose friends on the spot.
Reflect: What role do I slip into around friendship stress: fixer, investigator, peacemaker or critic?
Parent guide 03
Teens can want belonging and still need room to make a safe choice. Both things can be true.
Try saying
“Wanting to fit in makes sense. What is the pressure asking you to ignore about yourself?”
Try this
Practise one short exit line together and make a practical plan for getting home or getting support.
Avoid this
Avoid calling them weak, dramatic or naïve for feeling pulled by a group.
Reflect: When did I last confuse compliance with safety or closeness?
Parent guide 04
Keep the focus on feelings, pressure and wellbeing rather than appearance, food rules or reassurance about looks.
Try saying
“It sounds exhausting to have your brain talking to you like that. What has the pressure been like lately?”
Try this
Notice comparison triggers and offer a calm, non-judgemental check-in at a regular time.
Avoid this
Avoid commenting on weight, policing food, or arguing them out of a feeling.
Reflect: What body or food messages from my own life might be showing up in this conversation?
Parent guide 05
A closed door can feel enormous in teen life. You can take the feeling seriously without making it the whole story.
Try saying
“Ouch. That hurts. You do not have to be over it tonight—what would make the next hour gentler?”
Try this
Offer company, ordinary care and a choice about whether to talk, distract or make a small plan.
Avoid this
Avoid rushing to silver linings or telling them there are plenty more people out there.
Reflect: How comfortable am I sitting beside disappointment without trying to erase it?
Parent guide 06
Respectful limits and repair can live together. A conflict does not have to decide the whole relationship.
Try saying
“We are both getting heated. I want to understand and I also need us to speak safely. Can we pause and come back?”
Try this
Own your part, name the impact, and return when you said you would.
Avoid this
Avoid chasing the last word, sarcasm, threats or making your teen manage your feelings.
Reflect: What does repair look like in our family after a hard moment?
Parent guide 07
Kindness is not the same as disappearing. Help your teen notice guilt, fear and the right to have a limit.
Try saying
“Being thoughtful is lovely. You are allowed to check whether this works for you too.”
Try this
Ask what they would tell a friend in the same situation, then help turn it into one sentence.
Avoid this
Avoid praising self-sacrifice as the only way to be good or grateful.
Reflect: What family patterns might make saying no feel risky here?
Parent guide 08
Comparison is a brain habit, not a character flaw. Curiosity creates more room than confiscation alone.
Try saying
“What did that post make you tell yourself? What is the fuller picture your feed cannot show?”
Try this
Talk about a small reset: mute, step away, change the feed or do something grounding together.
Avoid this
Avoid calling social media silly or insisting they just stop caring.
Reflect: What does comparison look like in my own life, and what does my teen see me practise?
Parent guide 09
Co-regulation comes before a big conversation: safety, steadiness and a little space to think.
Try saying
“I can see this is a lot. Would you like quiet company, a walk, a snack, or a check-in later?”
Try this
Agree a low-pressure check-in rhythm and a signal for ‘I need help but not a big talk.’
Avoid this
Avoid treating a shut-down, tearful or angry moment as the best time to solve everything.
Reflect: What helps me become steadier before I ask my teen to do the same?
When extra help makes sense
A qualified local professional, school wellbeing lead, primary care clinician or specialist service may be helpful when a concern is ongoing, escalating, affecting sleep, school, eating, safety or relationships, or when you are unsure how to respond. In immediate danger, use emergency services.
This portal stays separate from teen learning.
It gives adults shared language without turning the teen programme into a surveillance space. Teen content and everyday reflections are not shown here.
See the teen programme